Zombie Surplus

Okay so… as I understand this awesome piece of news: Gary Kasparov was giving a speech to the coalition of activists in Moscow about how the Kremlin is filled with a bunch of assholes. (The video’s not translated and my mail-order Russian bride went to go get milk a few days ago and hasn’t returned.)  Apparently the pilots of the penis-copter were pro Czarist and fucking hate chess.  Gary seems to keep a good attitude about it, I guess when you’re the third most famous person from Russia behind two iron fisted baby killers you gotta have a sense of humor.

Too funny.

“After 37 years of theorization, researchers at Hewlett-Packard (NYSE:HPQ) said they have proven the existence of the fourth fundamental circuit element in electrical engineering that has the potential to provide computers with super memory capabilities.” •article•

“ Thirty-seven years ago, Leon Chua, a distinguished faculty member in the Electrical Engineering and Computer Sciences (NYSE:CSC) Department of the University of California at Berkeley, hypothesized that in addition to the resistor, capacitor and inductor, a fourth element, what he called the , memristor, had properties that could not be duplicated by any combination of the other three elements.”

Ok so, basically what I gather from this is that this super smart dude has now proven a old theory that computer memory will eventually be able to work in the same manner as the human brain. What that apparently means is that at some point we will be able to download our consciousness and cognitive abilities into computer hardware and live on without the need for complex chemical energy and the biological component that keeps our thoughts and bodies alive. Now is a good time for me to inform you of a neat little cartoon called Ghost in the Shell - Stand Alone Complex. The future just keeps looking better all the time, lets just solve this whole FOOD/AIR/WATER situation so we can actually see it happen. Lil Wayne should really watch some Ted Talks though.

Big-ups to Geoff for enlightening my soon to be immortal cybernetic self.

See what I did there?  cause White Men Can’t Jump… get it.  A-HA!  So anyway, I’m listening to the radio the other day, talk radio, because only Jesuits and flower children listen to music in the car.  Everything is going normal: traffic, weather, lotto winners, crime updates, and then suddenly my mind is bent like a wood box as the female host proclaims “the results of a new study have found that 6 out of 10 black children in North America don’t know how to swim.”  six out of ten!  SIX out of TEN!!  She went on to say that the reasons for the numbers stem from a cultural fear the parents have of their children drowning, creating a cyclical pattern of not learning how to swim… and then drowning.  Now bear with me, I realize I may sound like super-whitey the sardine devil, but come on, it’s swimming.  People is made of water yo, learning how to swim was one of the most freeing and pure events in my pathetic, mountain-dew-soaked, jerkin’-off-to-perfume-adds life.  I mean, I may have the rhythm and flow of a chicken trying to get its retarded ass out of a fucking egg, but hey, I can tread water.

Is there a point in all this?  No.  I really don’t care if you can swim or not, and you probably don’t care that I listen to talk radio.  So let’s call it even.

NOTE:  I’m currently auditioning for a new black friend.  Swimming is not required, freestyling is mandatory, and continually making fun of me isn’t against the rules but it is highly frowned upon.