Just thought I’d clarify. If you’ve never heard of Infected Mushrooms then you’ve probably never heard of Salvia or DMT either. If this is the case, the listen to this:
As a side note; did you know that LSD and Stereo sound were invented in the same year?
If that didn’t catch your fancy though, try looking something up at erowid.org then find it at your local bo-da-ga, and have another listen.
Thanks again to ilo for all the pretty colors.
It’s been a while kiddies. If any of you have actually been checking back here to see if there were new posts since like June 5th, I commend your commitment to zombiedome, and also, I’m sorry to have disappointed you. But good news, I have a pretty exciting/horrific story to tell. One that will hopefully serve as a warning to others, but most likely will encourage more widespread douchbaggery.
So last night, well 3:30am today, well yesterday… cause it’s 3:30am again…fuck. My good friend and co-worker (we’ll call him Stu) and I were just finishing our drinks after work. We’d only had three pints each, and after 8 hours of labor we were pretty much ready to call it. So we started our walk to our respective dwellings. After many foot falls and ridiculous conversations we happened upon a 7-11 and did what any slave economy loving peasants should do: bought a bunch of shit we didn’t need that was bad for us. Unfortunately, there happened to be a NEW product in the drink cooler, one that had millions of dollars worth of marketing weaponry to target, capture, and fucking obliterate our common sense, ideas of self preservation, and journey for contentment. I give you..
This little bastard is a 85ml tube of body blasting sin. In our infinite wisdom and complete lack of will to modern advertising we thought it would be a great idea to each try one at 4:00am on a work night. Sitting outside the sev, holding our vials of mystery and promise, we inspected the container for more information on what we were about to experience. The first thing that draws your attention is the yellow warning band around the top which reads:
“Must be 18 or older. EXTREMELY POTENT: Read label before drinking.”
Fucking Awesome. We’ll skip over the fact that neither of us were I.D.’d when we paid. Now lets read that label:
“WARNING: DO NOT USE IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18. DON NOT TAKE WITH ANY OTHER STIMULANT SUPPLEMENTS, CAFFEINATED BEVERAGES, OR PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION. DO NOT USE IF PREGNANT, NURSING, OR CONTEMPLATING PREGNANCY. Consult with your healthcare practitioner prior to use if you have any pre-existing medical conditions, including high blood pressure, thyroid problems, hyper-thyroidism, asthma, nervous disorders, if you are using MAO inhibitors or taking any prescription drug, or suffer from migraines. Individuals who are sensitive to caffeine should begin with one-half the recommended dose and limit the use of other caffeine-containing foods and drinks while taking this product because too much caffeine can cause nervousness, irritability and sleeplessness. Discontinue use if you experience dizziness, headaches, nausea or heart palpitations. KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN.”
Shit yeah! “contemplating pregnancy?!” As I was pondering the implications of this particular comment on our 18A vials Stu had noticed another statement on the label below the french version of the buyer beware. “VIRTUALLY UNBREAKABLE CONTAINER.” He read aloud, following swiftly with a downward blow of the container on the concrete parking barricade below him. As the feeble plastic drink dildo exploded in a shower of blue liquid, so did our laughter erupt at the now confirmed childlike situation we had created for our selves. “Shitty” I laughed “whatever, we’ll split this one.” This turned out to be a direct act of god, showing our circulatory systems a glint of mercy.
So after we’d consumed our 45ml of odd tasting adventure we continued on our walk. OH YEAH, the taste. Imagine if you drank a vial of nano-machines that instantly set to work rearranging your DNA, this is similar to the throat burning, research chemical taste of “HARDCORE Energize BULLET”. Not particularly enjoyable, much like my first cigarette. Anyway, everything was normal for the next 5 seconds, you know the average amount of time you’d expect for a beverage to take effe-HOLY FUCK WHY IS MY SKIN VIBRATING?!
We both stopped to look at each other, scanning for assurance that we were still human. No such luck. We then resumed one of our previous conversations to take our minds off the acid trip we were now taking together.
About 15 minutes went by before we got to where I live and, where normal people would part company and go on with their lives. Stu and I however were basically in a zombie rave, our hearts pumping out Infected Mushrooms, while our eyes zipped around the empty streets looking for any sign of danger we could run up to an lick. The shnahzberries do indeed taste like shnahzberries kids. I don’t remember much more of what happened before I slept, at one point a raccoon tried to mug us for our remaining sev swag which i believe consisted of a microwavable hamburger, no shit. We called each other at like 3:00pm the next ‘morning’, both having just arose to bodies that felt several decades older than when we were last conscious. And we have both agreed that tomorrow at work we’re going to each slam one for the dinner rush. God I love the FDA.
No but for real, don’t drink this shit. That’s coming from a guy who’s smoked almost every spice in the cupboard out of desperation. You’ll be much better of if you just stick to drinking alcohol excessively and back talking tazer wielding police.
But seriously… contemplating pregnancy. WTF
Hey gang, sorry for the lack of posts. I’ve been packing and moving my meth labs all around town due to some unsavory visits from the city engineering department. Plus it’s been bike month all through May and I can never say no to a hardy hit and run while escaping trailer fires.
Anyway, here’s something I saw the other day that made me wish I watched more BBC programing. It’s a clip from a show called Rush Hour which I’d never heard of until I saw this. Apologies for the squashed aspect ratio, I didn’t upload it, and yes I know that you don’t care, but it drives me F@%*ing mental.
So apparently everybody’s favorite happy black guy face is getting his very own TV show. Cleveland, Peter Griffin’s neighbor and friend on Family Guy, is going to be staring in a spin off series of the popular cartoon on FOX. Acording to James Hibberd of the US Daily, this isn’t something we should be surprised by as Hollywood seams to be writing checks for popular TV spawn like mad these days.
[From NBC's "The Office" to Fox's "Family Guy," broadcasters increasingly are urging their best performers to produce offspring. The debut of "Grey's Anatomy"-inspired "Private Practice" last fall was only the start of the latest round. Next season there's the still-unnamed "The Office" spinoff and Fox's "Family Guy" extension, "The Cleveland Show," as well as Sci Fi Channel's "Battlestar Galactica" prequel, "Caprica," which is filming a two-hour backdoor pilot. Projects based on Fox's "House" and "Prison Break" also are in development.] • article •
So say we all. As the former star of a spin off series I can tell you, craft services people are like angles with sliced avocado sandwiches for wings. Bearing a plethora of warm and cold beverages in pure white Dixie cups for all to enjoy, surely the spin off series is the greatest work of originality and selflessness a TV writer could ever hope to explore. God bless you comedy writers for your brave sacrifice, and perhaps one day society will realize it’s grave errors in piracy and actually purchase your works with real money. So say we all.
NOTE: what the hell is a “backdoor pilot” anyway? I just picture Adama with that mustache, wearing a scarf and a Red Barron flight cap, looking at me in that way. You know that, give me funny feelings way.
Okay so… as I understand this awesome piece of news: Gary Kasparov was giving a speech to the coalition of activists in Moscow about how the Kremlin is filled with a bunch of assholes. (The video’s not translated and my mail-order Russian bride went to go get milk a few days ago and hasn’t returned.) Apparently the pilots of the penis-copter were pro Czarist and fucking hate chess. Gary seems to keep a good attitude about it, I guess when you’re the third most famous person from Russia behind two iron fisted baby killers you gotta have a sense of humor.
Too funny.
Sweet music to my ears. Atmosphere, continuing his thunderous campaign on my ignorance to internal conflict, throws down hits like an MLB steroid junkie. He still manages to get me to check myself over like I’ve been caught stalled at the green light, but this time he’s just patiently laughing at me from his car, where as before I sometimes expected gunfire. Definitely gonna be on the play list this summer, and as sickening as this is, you can picture yourself singing some of these at his next show like a good zombie fan should. Production should speak for itself, ants have compound eyes right?
Thanks to ilo for his musical midas touch
Just watch this Ted Talk, I don’t even know what to say. This is so damn cool. I’ll put the short clips that the guy includes separately for you completely impatient people. But for those of you that watch the whole video… ISN’T THAT FUCKING AWESOME?!?!
Two shorter clips after the bite..
This wall clock is totally awesome. It has 150 hands that move to display the time with words. Words like “One” when it’s 1:00 and “Two” when it’s 2:00. This clock is so smart and has such an awesome personality. I would love to take this clock to the Roxy, but I’m pretty sure it already has an owner. That wouldn’t have stopped me a few years ago, I would have totally walked right up to the clock and been like “Hey, you wanna see a REAL minuted hand.” At this point in my life though I’ve learned that it can be hard for some owners to keep a nice clock around and just because the clock totally wants my awesome minute hand doesn’t mean I should take advantage of it. I’ll tell you what though, this clock completely changed my perspective on my wall clock. Oh GOD, it just sits there with it’s meager, fat 3 hands, struggling to get up past the 37 second mark, and then just totally slacks and rolls right down the other way. What a bitch. I’m not even gonna change it’s battery next time. Although…. it is about 600 times more precise.
This is pretty cool, and of course by cool I mean totally disturbing. You artsy kids out there might like this, but you also like getting government grants for something ridiculous you though up when you ran out of weed and tried smoking nutmeg in desperation. For the rest of you it’ll just be an uncomfortably disgusting wakeup call that not even the coldest shower can penetrate. So get out there and achieve those goals on your “before I’m 30″ list. You might be reaching with the whole “go back to collage” idea, or the “stop being such a corporate whore” thing, but reach for the stars anyway. That’s what they’re there for, to reach for, and to wish on, and to manufacture elements, and to eventually spell the demise for near by matter in one of several spectacular ways.
Some of BLU’s drawings after the bite.
Warning: DO NOT EVER VIEW THEM
“After 37 years of theorization, researchers at Hewlett-Packard (NYSE:HPQ) said they have proven the existence of the fourth fundamental circuit element in electrical engineering that has the potential to provide computers with super memory capabilities.” •article•
“ Thirty-seven years ago, Leon Chua, a distinguished faculty member in the Electrical Engineering and Computer Sciences (NYSE:CSC) Department of the University of California at Berkeley, hypothesized that in addition to the resistor, capacitor and inductor, a fourth element, what he called the , memristor, had properties that could not be duplicated by any combination of the other three elements.”
Ok so, basically what I gather from this is that this super smart dude has now proven a old theory that computer memory will eventually be able to work in the same manner as the human brain. What that apparently means is that at some point we will be able to download our consciousness and cognitive abilities into computer hardware and live on without the need for complex chemical energy and the biological component that keeps our thoughts and bodies alive. Now is a good time for me to inform you of a neat little cartoon called Ghost in the Shell - Stand Alone Complex. The future just keeps looking better all the time, lets just solve this whole FOOD/AIR/WATER situation so we can actually see it happen. Lil Wayne should really watch some Ted Talks though.
Big-ups to Geoff for enlightening my soon to be immortal cybernetic self.
